You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
