my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
