yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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