Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
