I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Randomize
