I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Randomize
