I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
id be glad to
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
