The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
that is very illegal...i love you.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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