im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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