They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Randomize
