tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
