You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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