My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
the condom got lost in my hair
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
