Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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