I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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