Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
