What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
