Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
