my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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