he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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