Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
