sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Randomize
