I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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