I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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