i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
