So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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