I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
