# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
