what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
