Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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