so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
