dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Randomize
