If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
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