So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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