We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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