the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize