like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
