Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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