too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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