I cannot find my penis.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
