That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
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