i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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