just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
