I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
