my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Floor bacon is actually really good
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
