it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
