my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
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