Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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