Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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