I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
