apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Randomize
